The 5ths took control of this game and whilst the scoreline suggests a close-match the result was never in doubt! Even the 4ths captain Rupe Morrey was heard shouting "Come on the 5ths" although we're not sure whether this was from confusion or sheer admiration!

5ths did all they could to take the trophy away from the Vets but a 4-0 win over the 6ths let the chance slip for another year.

A disappointing defeat this one after such a promising start. For the first 15 minutes Irby didn't get a look in whilst Nomads pinged the ball about the field despite the very windy conditions. We took the lead thanks to some good build up play and a great strike by Dave Maynard. Matty Beswick added a second shortly after which made Waitey cry 18-16... we weren't sure whether he was referring to his year of birth or the Golden Boot chase between Matty and Dave?

Nomads then made a few errors which Irby capitalised on and as our Heads went down Irby took control of the game and Nomads never got back in it until in the bar later when we lead the way in the sausage and beans eating.

Once again "The Curse Of The Donkey" plagued the Nomads on their visit to St Lukes on Saturday. After a solid first half performance with Nomads much the better team...playing some delicate dodecahedrons and dominating possession but lacking the finishing touches to open the scoring. Second half started in much the same vein and a Nomads free kick was deftly slotted by a sober! Kelly with all the flamboyance of Beckham (Victoria). Sensing victory the Nomads poured forward into the Lukes half with little attention paid to the gaping hole left through the midfield and defence and hence The Lukes equalised. Taking full advantage of the conditions Lukes strengthened their attack and continued to "hoof" the ball down the middle of the pitch which disappeared and reappeared in the setting sun on it's way to the net. All seemed lost as Lukes took a 4-1 lead with 10 minutes to go. A "vintage" Mattie Beswick goal at the death made the final score 4-2. Man of The Match...Gwion Mc Kowatt (for St Lukes).  

A sumptuous offering of Cornish Pasty, Chips, mixed vegetables (yes it's a first) and gravy was served up by the cheery catering staff at Hightown Cricket Club on Saturday. Waite managed to fiddle the cloakroom ticketing system and had 3 servings. A creditable 2 rosettes (commended) for this effort Lukes although your chances of achieving the highly prized 3 rosettes is not helped by the cutlery/crockery combination.  

p.s. Waite was later caught by the catering supervisor helping himself to the rest of the veg and chips (4th helping) whilst muttering on about the fact that Barnsey had nicked the last pasty

6-4 sounds like a thriller but it would be unfair and unjust to describe this game as that. Nomads did the usual slow start and conceded a goal within the first few minutes - we really must get to the game earlier! In the second half the Nomads fitness (!) paid off as we pulled away to grab the victory.

Another slow start by Nomads 5ths saw Rockville glide through not just the defence but the whole team to score within the first two minutes. Nomads then did the usual wake-up call and started to play a bit of footy if only to see if they could make Waitey smile!

Barnsie & Kelly played the first half still connected by drip feed to the stella pump - or was it just seeping out and gradually making an already wet pitch wetter? A triple substitution saw Penders come on in an unfamiliar role - playing for a good side - and Andy Carey and Roger (as yet unknown) made their appearances. The rest of the side gave a sigh of relief and they were getting a bit p*$$£d just by being near our Captain.

Some good play by Nomads and a few goals to boot starts the New Year well for the 5ths

What can be said about this game - an inter-club friendly? Friendly in the US Army terms of "friendly fire" maybe as there were certainly no punches pulled - in fact just the opposite -punches thrown! Tackles flying in from curious angles... Vets took the lead, Dave equalised did the same again later on. Barnsie scored the goal of the game (second goal in two games) but this time sadly a soft header into his own net.

Matty Fry lunged at Collister who waited until Matty was sliding past his feet to dive better than Klinsman - a penalty in nobodies book but Ritz's! Another dubious goal was taken by the Vets when Mal Williams was found in space walking back from the last attack and turn around to score - obviously "not interfering" with play! Poor game all round.

It's a funny old game isn't it? Nomads looked very shaky from the off but managed to hold UMS out. A looping corner delivered to the back post was met by Richie Barnes who thundered a header into the back of the net... thundered might be a little exageration, possibly mild storm might be a better description.

Dave Maynard constantly tore the opposition defence apart, beating the keeper  at least twice on 1 on 1's. Dave's now investing in Weetwood shares as the cost of the jugs he keeps buying has to found from somewhere!

Bring on the Vets!!!

29 Nov

Kings Keep Fit

A

2

2

Richie Haining (2)

22 Nov

Irby C C

H

2

4

Paul Kelly (pen), Richie Haining

15 Nov

Northop Hall Nomads

A

0

0

8 Nov

Interclub Football Feast

Matty Beswick (1), Richie Haining (3)

Played three 30 minutes games:

v 6ths 2-2, then the 4ths 0-0 and finally another 2-2 against the Vets. 4ths won!

1 Nov

Ramblers

2

2

Matty Beswick, Richie Haining

25 Oct

Old Packwoodians

H

7

1

Dave Maynard (5), John Moore (2)

18 Oct

Liverpool Caveliers

H

1

2

Matty Beswick

11 Oct

Rockville

A

6

3

Matty Beswick (3), Paul Kelly (1), Gwion McKowat (1), and a og that Matty Fry's trying to claim!

Pace, skill, flair... non of these were on show at Rockville this fine Autumnal afternoon. The game started before the Nomads heads had followed their bodies out of the car and we quickly conceded a goal from a corner. The ball swung over and through our invisible defence and a fine knee saw it in the net. We then attacked, scored two goals, then generously let them back in with an early Christmas present to go in 2-2 at half time. A rousing half time team talk from the gaffer brought more of the same except that our youth policy started to pay off and we took a 4-2 lead after squandering many chances.

Once again though we decided the game needed another goal and again we gave this away with such aplomb Des Lynam mentioned it on Saturday night... "Turkey" were his actual words.  The ball came to Tucker inside the 6 yard box, ready to swing a leg and unceremoniously hoof it away when, at the last second Waitey shouts... so Tucker leaves it for his keeper to collect only to then realise Waitey had actually shouted "Out"... but by then it was too late and the ball was in the net 4-3. Another few squandered attempts (Kelly!)  and then we finally got our sights straight and scored two more. One of which Matty Fry's trying to claim as he swung a looping cross from the right... only to see it met with a good hunchback from a Ville defender and plop... yes I mean plop into the net.

4 Oct

6th XI (Jewsbury Cup)

H

3

0

Dave Maynard (2), Matty Beswick (1 pen)

What a thriller. Game started with the 6ths dominating play in all areas so much so that Stu Baker cried "They're all over the place here... let's take em".

However, he didn't count on the superb Neil "Boatrace" Waite in the nets. When Matt Cotterill picked up the loose ball some 35 yards out the 5ths defence thought little about tackling. Matt hit a great strike towards the top corner only for Waitey to bring back memories of yesteryear with a fine leap to tip over the bar and tip the flow of the game

6ths took a corner only to find themselves on the back foot as 5ths broke away at pace, some swift passing saw the ball land at Dave's feet which he calmly tucked into the net. A handball by Kev Canning resulted in Matty B slotting a cool pen home and then finally Dave wrapped it all up finsishing after another fine team move.

Clarky wants to give Keith his teeth back that were embedded into his shoulder after an accidental collision left Keith sparked out on the floor.

26 Sep

H.M.S. Albion

H

1

3

John Moore

Nomads hosted the best the British Navy could throw at them and gave a very creditable performance! Soaking up the pressure on a glorious sunny evening, Nomads broke away and had the cheek to take the lead from the stunned Navy/Marines team. The second half saw more pressure from the reassuringly fitter Albion (we'd be more worried if our Navy were fat and old like the 5ths!!) and they finally managed to break their duck when Waitey shouted "Barnsie" as the ball sped towards goal. Barnsie thought this was an in bound missile and ducked letting the ball sail past Waitey into the net. 1-1

As the game progressed and Nomads started to tire, substitues Ant Green, the youthful Smigger and Tim Barnes came on, making an immediate impact as we went 1-2 down. As Albion started to pitch long balls over the top for the young strikers to chase, the ball bounced high just inside the box with Waitey favourite to catch... the 5'2" striker leapt like a salmon and beat the keeper to seal a victory. Although we hate to say it, Waitey played a tremendous game in the nets (missing a fishing/sailing pun there) and was awarded MoM. His prize? A single boat-race against their MoM which we deservedly won. Looking forward to the return game at the end of the season!

20 Sep

ST LUKES

H

1

3

 Dave Maynard

SEASON'S STATS: 2002-03

MATCH DETAILS

12 OCT 02

ROCKVILLE

H

4

4

PAUL KELLY (3), CLIVE DAVIES

19 OCT 02

LIVERPOOL CAVELIERS

A

4

3

MATTY BESWICK (4)

26 OCT 02

ST LUKES

H

4

1

PETE CLARK, RICHIE HAINING,

MATTY BESWICK, STEVE BOND

02 NOV 02

RAMBLERS 3rd XI

A

2

4

RICHIE HOEY (after Clarky turns on a sixpence), ANT GREEN

09 NOV 02

CREWE NOMADS

H

2

3

ADE BREAKWELL, PETE CLARK

16 NOV 02

SHREWSBURY SCHOOL

A

5

1

MATTY BESWICK (2), PAUL KELLY,

ADE BREAKWELL, DAVE BUTLER

Michelin 3 star day out for the 5th team.

Yet another gourmet afternoon was enjoyed by the 5th XI on Saturday at Shrewsbury School. A fine array of curry, Chilli pies, pastries, and vegetable accompaniments was presented by the cheery catering staff at the said fixture on Saturday washed down with a fine selection of soft drinks teas and coffees.

My personal selection was the chilli-con-carne which I found to be particularly delicious-loads of meat, hot (but not too hot) and the rice was just perfect. All other selections went down well although desert was declined in lieu of a couple of pints of "carsk" down the Boathouse pub on the River Severn.

A big thumbs up for après match catering on this one ed.

23 NOV 02

VETS XI - DEWSBURY CUP

H

2

2

MATTY BESWICK, GWION MCKOWAT

Sky sports update over to Charlie Nicholas.....eeeh with 25 seconds on clock the first moan from Graham Anderson, also from Pete Ledsham who is injured on sidelines. 26 seconds first mention of "play the game fairly 5ths"………….2 mins Matty Beswick hits shot from half way line "Cool" Declan stands and watches it hands on hips; it dips sharply hits inside of post and almost goes in off keepers backside............. GOAL:- Matty Beswick sprints round Steve Graham (not easily done) and hammers past Declan........... GOAL:- Hoey in Tuckeresque defensive howler as he fails to clear lines leaving Collister one on one, Neil Waite blows on him as he tries to round him and Colly falls in balletic heap.Waite gets hand to Moss pen, but ball creeps in............. 44 mins Kelly and Beswick fluff one on ones and last ditch Dotty challenge stop 5ths going in at 1/2 time in front. ............ Second half of incessant Vets pressure by use of old pros tricks, late tackles and Angry moaning..........GOAL:-2nd penalty as Waite grabs Tim Vines legs instead of ball. Waite gets hand to Vines pen again, but Vets hit front for first time........ 5ths step up a gear and Dotty single handedly saves blushes of his team with expert covering and lastditch tackles. Beswick fluffs 2 more one on ones............ GOAL:- Beswick through yet again puts shot straight at Declan, who parries across goal. Only person quick enough to keep up (nearly) with Matty B is Gwion McKowat formerly of the Unpronounceables XI, he saunters up in slow motion with 10 teammates howling at him to "bury it" to tap ball into open goal -the big tease......... Graham Anderson 70mins - "Youre a ****in cheat Matty Fry"……...Fry substitutes self in horror at his lack of a ready put down………Anderson then goes on solo run across pitch fouls Wibraham, Breakwell and Davies before free kick given and he hoofs ball over goal line for obvious yellow card. Refs hand stays in pocket as Angry again exhorts 5ths to "play the bloody game".......... Final whistle blows at Bishops to smiles all round and Vets admitting they had been given a game. Except Anderson who says that at selection on Tuesday

30 NOV 02

KINGS KEEP FIT

A

2

2

ADE BREAKWELL

PETE CLARK

Adrian Breakwell, Pete Clark……….... On a cold and wet day and pitch at the Kings School the 5ths played an evenly balanced match against the Kings Keep Fit or the "Pies & Cans XI" as they are effectionately known……. The match started well enough with the phrase "Tuckeresque" coming into force many times once by Tucker himself who managed to pass a long ball through the mud all of 5 yards to the oppositions striker; Fortunately the striker who is still recovering from a slight dose of pneumonia missed the chance!........ Matty Fry stood on the line cheering us on whilst managing to do an impression of a rich Lord of the Manor.......... Clarky scored a fabulous left foot volley into the top corner, sadly for him the match hadn't started and he only managed to beat Waitey who will still collecting the other three balls that had gone astray!............ We scored two, so did they - not much else happened!

07 DEC 02

IRBY C.C.

A

1

4

PETE CLARK

Here is my contribution to today's match report "The view from the back"……..The season of charity and goodwill started early for the Fifths in their match against Irby Cricket Club. The skip had to go off early with a dead leg. He was obviously aware of what was to ensue. Conceding space, time and all those other factors that good players use, the much vaunted Fifths defence parted like Moses and the Red Sea. Unable to make chances count the team went in 2 down at the interval which was increased to 4 following 2 further defensive aberrations. No Tuckeresque defending this week just no defending!

Match highlights were few for the Nomads with only a late consolation goal from Clarky lifting the gloom and doom in the dressing room!…………… Memo to Mrs Clark (if she reads this column). Get him some new shorts for Christmas because the XLBoys he's forced to wear are not flattering to his physique!

Matty continued to be his all action self although I'm not sure Adey will forgive him for not pulling the ball back when he was screaming for it in front of goal!

This weeks catering could only be awarded a single rosette. Sausages and beans are standard fayre at Irby CC and were made all the less palatable by the 4-1 stuffing we'd received."

Best wishes Your Goalie, stiff back after bending down to pick ruddy ball out of the back of the net

14 DEC 02

UPTON MAGNETS SOUTH

A

 4

0 

 MATTY BESWICK (3), MARK KERR

First clean sheet of the season for 5ths achieved against all odds.
6 cryoffs on the day from the very good reasons (Adie, Martin Dodd) to Richie"hurt my knee getting into bed" Hoey and Puker Kelly - who left anything but clean sheets where he was staying and my solace whilst ringing
around to get an 11 was that Barnesy was spending his Saturday morning clearing up Pauls sick.
An 11 who were unavailable would be:
P.Kelly,M.Dodd,Tucker,M.Hewson,MattFry,AntGreen,A.Breakwell,R.Barnes,R.Hoey,SteveBond,Stu Hardcastle and would be fancied to tonk the 11 we got out. We actually got 12 but gave them a player so one of their blokes could ref. The player we gave them? The 4ths own Nick Clark - but thqats not why we won.

First half hatrick from Matty Beswick secured the win, insttigated by the midfield probings of Pete Clark. A special mention for his shorts which were so tight we were surprised he could probe anything. This weeks subs are going to be spent on new short -we had 9 pairs and a particularly extra large pair needed for Clarkey. He claimed to have atight hamstring at the end, it was more likely that the circulation in his legs was cut off.

We had 6 forwards on the pitch and seven if you include Clive who was regularly in front of everyone. This week he used his arse to clear the ball, unlike Butler who decided not to put the ball out for a corner and nearly cost a goal. "I could hear everyone shouting to put it out so I didn't for a laugh"

Mark "Jock" Kerr completed the rout in the 90th minute taking the ball off Wilbers toe in the 6 yard box. "I didnt know whether to shake his hand or throttle him" quote the Wilbmeister. What he was doing in the opposition area in the last minute is only his guess but we all know he would have missed anyway. 4-0 Neil Waites only involvement was eating 4 chip butties afterwards. He certainly fills the goal

26 DEC 02

CONVACATION

H

 6

2 

 Jim Baker 2, Jock 2 (missed pen to avoid a jug), Shoney, Powelly

28 DEC 02

WHITEGATE

A

 1

 7

 Matty Beswick

04 JAN 03

UPTON MAGNETS SOUTH

H

POSTPONED

11 JAN 03

LIVERPOOL CAVELIERS

H

 POSTPONED

18 JAN 03

ROCKVILLE

A

3